Why me seem to be the words I utter most in life. I try, I honestly do. I chant the mantras and affirmations, I get up each day ready to give it another go and prove what a wonderful life this is and how extremely grateful I am and what happens? Well read on and come with me on a journey through my catalogue of disasters and that hopefully will make you see what a normal and in control person you really are compared to me. You might have seen me around. I am the woman feeling happy because it’s the beginning of summer, the sun is shining and there I am smiling sweetly at everyone on the bus, new clutch bag in hand, with my dress inside out. That’s bad enough in itself but the tag with the size on is showing and that is not good. That was me many moons ago at the nightclub spinning around like a whirling dervish on the dance floor knocking out some trendy moves thinking how good I must be because people are clapping. Yep. I’m wearing a red dress with white underwear under an ultraviolet light showing everyone, as my mother would say, next weeks washing. Humiliating. Then, of course, some years ago there was the invention of hold up stockings that needed no suspender belt. Hallelulia. I loved wearing stockings (showing my age here) but hated the dreaded suspender belt. I was first in line to buy a pair handing over my money with a grin on my face. Buzzing I was. Tomorrow I was going to look the business at work with my new black pencil skirt, white blouse and sexy black stockings. I spent that much time fussing to get ready I was late for work and had to run for the bus. There I was running and flapping my arms about to grab the attention of the driver when suddenly my stay up stockings were flapping round my ankles. Shields Road, the main shopping street in Byker was not the quietest of places at the best times. Head hung in shame I stepped out of them and quickly shoved them in my bag. I chose to ignore the raucous laughter surrounding me. Head held high, slightly harassed, but dignity withheld I stepped on the bus whipped my purse out along with my stockings which were caught in the zip of my bag. Oh the shame. The lady sitting at the front was tutting. Should have worn my red dress, my face would have matched it nicely. I hope this gives you a little insight as to what will follow.
I will naturally cover the complete humiliation of the motorized trolley in ASDA at a later date.
As I look back on my life, something I seem to do a lot of these day, I find myself smiling. So you see when your young and life is all going wrong and endless crazy things keep happening don’t stress or worry. Just think to yourself, aaah, there is another thing to look back on to make me laugh when I’m older.
I believe so strongly in the saying truth is stranger than fiction. Oh my goodness how true that is. As a writer I have come across the most incredible people and their stories have made me both laugh and cry. Others have greatly inspired me. Their stories have sometimes literally taken my breath away. I will share some of these stories with you on my blog alongside other fictional and true stories which I hope you will enjoy.
Here we go then. Welcome to my world, have fun, laugh lots and enjoy.
With much love